Elves, or, a theme develops

d6 reasons the elf must duel you

1. they are on drugs. Elves are notorious for their excessive drug use, tending to fluctuate cyclically, with periods of haughty abstinence, pathetic addiction and raging frenzy. Their taste tends towards the exotic, but common narcotics are consumed regularly alongside rarer chemicals. Their ability to duel may be severely hampered, but their true skill asserts itself on a 1 in 6 every round.

2. you destroyed a thing of beauty. Elves (although being incapable of true creation) prize what they describe as true art above all things. Personal definitions vary wildly, although the art is always uncomfortable in its excess. They will fight implacably, but will always offer rescue from death’s door if you come to see art as is truly should be.

3. you insulted them. A mind bogglingly complex (some would say fraudulent) code of honour and system of laws governing them. The offending party is always, due to some technicality, considered to be on elven land when the crime was supposedly committed. The elf will fight completely fairly - they will level their skill with that of their opponent by using unnecessarily flashy moves. Their victims at sword point, they graciously forgive them, and ask them to feast together. This is the second most common entry to elvish society, and far more desirable than being kidnapped.

4. to put on a show. Elves enjoy being watched, and if they have made your acquaintance and think you are an interesting character, they will put on a show. They will dramatically accuse you in public, then approach you later and explain the game. A carefully sculpted rivalry, or great friendship, or enmity will be constructed between you. After a dramatic build up, a suitable climax shall be reached, you will very likely be far more well regarded and successful and the elf shall receive some modest reward. Will enact these at any level of society. 3 in 6 chance in a social class different from the one you usually travel, 1 in 6 chance a dramatic reversal - a leper talking with queens, a king scamming with street children. Save every week this goes on or the elf gets bored and leaves at a critical moment.

5. an obligation. Thankfully, elves forced into action will strive to ruin their contribution and ideally the entire scheme. They will fight in a perfunctory fashion, and attempt to non-lethally wound you. If approached afterwards, they may offer assistance - it may be flagrant or secretive. They will do one thing willingly, or they may alternatively introduce you to a friend.

6. they actually want to kill you. Whether in a rage, totally calm or cruel, the elf will kill you, publically, and in a humiliating fashion. They will, if they must, throw all of their resources into this effort. They always use a disproportionate amount of force. 3 in 6 chance they attempt to raise your corpse and keep it as a slave to mock.